with the stress and pressure she got from everywhere including herself, she thought she'll be better off by taking the easy way out. But it turn out to be more miserable... much more than she expected.

meizhu jus feel like dying... everyone feel that she is so positive.. yet, no one knows that within her, there's jus a massive negative power... deep inside. she prob the most pessimistic person.. her brave front, her cheerfulness, her attitude.. everything had made her question who is she exactly.

she long knew that life is meaningless. she knew that no one bothers abt her. she knew that no one care. she knew that her family enjoy her being a puppet... yet, she thought maybe she is wrong... and she thought she wanna see that she misunderstood... she thought ppl care, she thought they din mean to treat her like a puppet...

but to only find out that...

if one day she decided to leave...

be assured that it was done out of good will..

for she cant help to feel guilty for all the 'misdeeds' she done to them... for all the emotions that she had given... for all the misery she brought......

she felt unfair right from the start..

her parents. her siblings.

she is not a puppet. she want to choose her own path. she will not regret she promise. even if she had suffered cos of her decision or choice, she will not run back and cry. she believes it all fated. she believes that life. she know that this is a challenge given to her. she know that she have the RIGHT to choose to stay or leave..

she just felt that... if only someone could just listen to her. if only someone would like put her prior to themselves. if only they see what she did rather than what she haven do...

she dun love herself...

she love others better... she did so many things to appease ppl jus to make them happy but they jus took advantage of that, they took it for granted..

she wants to love herself more...

and she felt that... finding her way to her best friend will be the best and last choice she made for herself..

the only and last choice she did to prove that she love herself..

but before that choice... she'll still put on her mask... she'll still be good... she'll still be bad to herself. she'll still tolerate all the SHIT.

it wun be long before that..

with the stress and pressure she got from everywhere including herself, she thought she'll be better off by taking the easy way out. But it turn out to be more miserable... much more than she expected.

meizhu jus feel like dying... everyone feel that she is so positive.. yet, no one knows that within her, there's jus a massive negative power... deep inside. she prob the most pessimistic person.. her brave front, her cheerfulness, her attitude.. everything had made her question who is she exactly.

she long knew that life is meaningless. she knew that no one bothers abt her. she knew that no one care. she knew that her family enjoy her being a puppet... yet, she thought maybe she is wrong... and she thought she wanna see that she misunderstood... she thought ppl care, she thought they din mean to treat her like a puppet...

but to only find out that...

if one day she decided to leave...

be assured that it was done out of good will..

for she cant help to feel guilty for all the 'misdeeds' she done to them... for all the emotions that she had given... for all the misery she brought......

she felt unfair right from the start..

her parents. her siblings.

she is not a puppet. she want to choose her own path. she will not regret she promise. even if she had suffered cos of her decision or choice, she will not run back and cry. she believes it all fated. she believes that life. she know that this is a challenge given to her. she know that she have the RIGHT to choose to stay or leave..

she just felt that... if only someone could just listen to her. if only someone would like put her prior to themselves. if only they see what she did rather than what she haven do...

she dun love herself...

she love others better... she did so many things to appease ppl jus to make them happy but they jus took advantage of that, they took it for granted..

she wants to love herself more...

and she felt that... finding her way to her best friend will be the best and last choice she made for herself..

the only and last choice she did to prove that she love herself..

but before that choice... she'll still put on her mask... she'll still be good... she'll still be bad to herself. she'll still tolerate all the SHIT.

it wun be long before that..