been thinking a lot recently..
found out i was stronger than before.
able to handle things calmer..
maybe i am too tired to bother with a lot of things. too tired to be happy. sad. angry. to waste energy.
see things in more angles.. but that kinda narrow a lot of things.
found out a lot of harsh realities.
many of times, i keep things to myself. but only upsetting ones. or too hurtful to brought up kinda.
i choose the ppl i talk to too.
like
mum = happy things
sis = brainless things
dad = general knowledge or news related things
bro = nth
jeeda = some things
.
.
.
i kinda dun like to keep things to myself..
but i kinda cant find someone to listen to those. or maybe i have... :)
its just too personal to bother others for such stupid things.
its just irritates me when ppl try to comment rather to listen n see it my way.
i am forgetting some emotions. true emotions.
feel like i am gg thru motions sometimes... like act happy. act kind. act understanding. act patient.
all kinda acting. except acting weak.
acting fragile.
i dun act fragile/ weak. cos they are real.
a opened book is kinda like a closed book.
am i trying too hard to make myself easy to understand? kinda wonder.
acting makes ppl happy.. i believe at least.
feel like shouting out loud. feel like telling how i really feel. but its gonna get fatal. wells. of cos, i shld sacrify myself.
cos i believe there will be someone like me, who would do it for me too..
i still believe.
till....
i discover the harsh truth abt reality again?
heard so much recently. shocks. surprises. craps. all sort.
wells..
life.
is a tough challenge.
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Name's meizhu.
Wants to be beautiful and smart. And, be appreciated and seen. is BEING herself.
