feel like spamming here..
cos anyway. it kinda become a little space that i talk to myself.
feeling so tired.
too many things came at the same time.
and i kinda forgotten how to vent the shit out.
someone asked me if i am afraid of being lonely.
i said no immediately.
i thought thru it after that for quite some time..
i suppose reason being i am in the loneliness for so long that i forgot what is not.
not physically.
but i kinda shut myself out. from the rest of the world.
i am not the only factor. in fact ppl dun bother to find out too.. not all though.
looking thru some stuff and i found the msg that karthik sent to me when i was really really down. i still keep it. it meant a lot to me. i feel important too. thanks, bro.
i am really tired..
of things happening at home, work, on every corner of the earth, universe.
i feel like gg to the beach, letting the wave wash away all the tiredness. all the shit. all the thoughts. all the energy. and the whole of me.
i am tired of explaining myself, my actions, my thoughts..
that made me seem like i am trying so hard to be involved in sth.
omg. can i cry now? and not wait till the dark when everyone is aslp...
can i jus drink w/o lying that the weather is too cold or i cant slp. can i just say i drink cos i am feeling super upset and feel like shit.
can i just let myself loose and stop controlling myself for a day.
can i just love myself the way i want it.
can i just be the way i am for a day w/o having the aftermath and the shit that comes after that
can i just....
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Name's meizhu.
Wants to be beautiful and smart. And, be appreciated and seen. is BEING herself.
